California Techno

“California techno is amazing,” said no one ever. That’s because California techno doesn’t exist. The UK makes fun of us. Other states make fun of us. Are we are just a bunch of posers? Is it impossible to take my harsh rhythmic noise seriously, because I live a cushy life under the sun?

California techno is a total oxymoron. How can you even have those two words in the same sentence right? Maybe California house or California dubstep, but never California techno. Saying California techno is like saying…strawberry pizza. It makes no fucking sense.

It doesn’t seem like a techno movement could ever take place in California, but it’s an actual thing which is gaining momentum as I type. Before the pandemic, I was going to techno shows in LA every weekend. There isn’t really a defined scene out here. Techno sort of sneaks in wherever possible. Most techno acts I’ve seen were on bills with harsh noise and ambient acts. Nonetheless, it does exist.

It was once believed that techno could never emerge in such a soft climate, but California is not all chakras and crystals. California is the natural habitat of earthquakes. We don’t have to worry about harsh long winters or dragons like our UK techno friends. No. The anxiety we constantly endure is actually much worse. My ceiling can come crashing down on me at any moment and I must straddle the horrors of this reality every day. There are ways to survive a blizzard, but there is no way of surviving a massive earthquake.

TLDR: California is just as brutal as the UK, because we have earthquakes every day, and thus a techno scene will naturally emerge here as people begin to musically express their anger towards earthquakes.